hey, d'you wanna hear a lizard joke?

you know i got an assortment.

(hover for answer.)

what do you call a gay lizard?

karma chameleon

what else do you call a gay lizard?

me when i have dry skin

what do you call a lizard that smokes weed?


what else do you call a lizard that smokes weed?

idk i haven't thought of this joke yet

a little lizard was walking in the forest

he looked up a tall tree and saw a koala sitting on a branch holding a blunt. the koala saw the lizard on the forest floor and said, "hey, do you wanna come up here and smoke this with me?" the little lizard was like, "sure," and climbed up the tree to smoke with the koala. after a few minutes, the lizard turned to the koala and mentioned that his throat was feeling very dry, and that he was going to get some water but would be back soon. the little lizard climbed down the tree and out of the forest, eventually arriving at a small river at which he could drink. the lizard drank water for a bit, but then tripped on a stone near its shore and fell into the water. luckily, a passing alligator saw the little lizard struggling to swim, and pushed him to shore so he could get out of the water. the alligator questioned the lizard: "dude, you're a fucking reptile, how did you seriously almost drown!? is that even possible?" the little lizard, after gently informing the alligator of the existence of non-aquatic reptile species, remarked that he was just high and simply lost his balance in that moment. the alligator then asked where the little lizard had gotten the weed from. "oh, from a koala in the forest." the alligator then headed into the forest to see if he could smoke with the koala as well. after a few minutes of walking the alligator arrived at the tree that the koala was occupying, stoned out of his tiny koala mind. the alligator called up to the koala like, "hey dude". the koala looked down to the forest floor and saw the alligator looking up at him. "fuuuuuck dude, how much water did you drink!?"