_______ __ __ ___ ___ __ __ | _ .----|__.--| | Y .---.-|__| | |. 1 | __| | _ |. | _ | | | |. _ |____|__|_____|. \_/ |___._|__|__| |: | | |: | | |::.|:. | |::.|:. | Issue 7 `--- ---' `--- ---' 2020-02-18 ------------------------------------------------- NEWSLETTER: OH GOD OH FUCK https://neozones.neocities.org/acidjaw/mail/issue7 https://wiki.squeeze.pizza/index.php?title=AcidMail/issue7 This issue we have: * Be a handsome anime boi! * The computer is my soul * THE MOST EVIL WEBSITE EVER ------------------------------------------------- >INSERT WELCOME HERE Lorem ipsum dolor amet ea hammock vape banh mi disrupt la croix glossier in waistcoat letterpress hoodie boogie woogie ad kinfolk cray gluten-free no sugar. Austin palo santos chicharrones keytar vinyl, fugiat literally ramps OWO. Pok pok schlitz chartreuse synth blog photo booth normcore cillum bitters. Lyft banjo kazooie chartreuse, leggings PBR&B velit fanny pack deep v microdosing. Before they sold out mlkshk health goth testicle eiusmod vaporwave. Pitchfork stumptown brunch et portland. Welcome once again to "you know" (See page title for more details). This would be the second time that its not the head editor writing the issue, but rather a proud member of NeoZones... I don't know if it is allowed to say names, I will have to ask him when he returns from Liverpool, Minecraft in The Pursuit of Happyness. ------------------------------------------------- >BE A HANDSOME ANIME BOI! Are you ugly? Women don't want you? Do you want to be attractive to women, straight men *and* people with weird fetishes? You want to stop reading this text as if it were part of an informercial? If you had knowledge about artificial intelligences, Deep Dream and other stuff, surely you've already heard of pages like Melobytes (https://melobytes.com/) or This Waifu Does Not Exist (https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/). And just as we could hire a robot to write more AcidJaw issues, you can become an anime boy thanks to the technology and magic of machine learning! The process is as simple as breathing; just upload a photo of your horrendous face, put your email, they will not ask for your credit card number or the three numbers on the back or the expiration date of it, check your email in about 10 minutes and voila, your own photo of yourself in kawaii! Warning: Despite the results, you will remain ugly in real life. https://selfie2anime.com/ ------------------------------------------------- >THE COMPUTER IS MY SOUL Nicholas Fedorov is an American animator, musician and artist who has gained notorious fame and cult status on the Internet thanks to his animations that are very reminiscent of the three-dimensional style of the 90s animations. The content of Nicholas Fedorov has a great variety of topics, some of them parody characters from existing cartoons, and others present original concepts. All his creations are fascinating due to the level of authenticity that applies to the style of animation, although some may seem them terrifying due to the (possibly) nightmare-inducing style. One of his best-known animations is a music video titled THE COMPUTER, originally released in 2015. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8wrT6J8sNo https://archive.org/details/NicholasFedorovTHECOMPUTEROfficialVideo What makes Fedorov's content especially interesting is his ability to recreate vintage stuff that really shines, you know, the VHS lines, the over-saturated look, the cheesy CGI effects and the fact these videos look 25 years out of date. Fedorov has been known to use old computers and software from the 90's to create his videos, and also uses an actual VCR to process his videos for the vintage look. Unfortunately, his videos have recently been rare to find, as years ago he deleted his channel and social media, either because some kept using trendy words such as "autism and vapowave" in his comments or because it wasn't the kind of fame he expected, to the point that several might have harassed him. Like any avant-garde artist, he is a normal person in real life despite his half-creepy content, and has said on multiple occasions that he has an interest in vintage CG animation of the 90's, retro computers, anime, programming, and classic video games. Almost all of this content can now be found either by looking in the deepest guts of the web, on YouTube or simply in this nice link on Archive.org. Hopefully one day he will have enough motivation to give us more of his message, his aesthetics, his music and his art. https://archive.org/details/nicholasfedorovcompletearchive ------------------------------------------------- >ASCII OF THE NOW The ASCII of The Now is a weekly thing we do where we dig threw the old archives of forgotten websites, finding ASCII art that time forgot. For this week, we have something we are very sure everyone can relate to. In this situation, we see an individual sitting on top of a (possibly) ceramic piece, doing some daily ritual that tackles his needs to release all the impurities from his body. How long will be there? Probably a few minutes if they are not in a Taco Bell bathroom... _ ( } ==== /\\ | | / /\\ |__|_L_==n L( ) | (___) L http://www.chudnovsky.org/gallery/ascii/HTML/pee.htm ------------------------------------------------- >THE MOST EVIL WEBSITE EVER What you are about to see is the worst of the web, the most evil that has ever existed in the entire history of the internet, run by an evil corporation that plans to dominate human minds and control their lives to become richer and more powerful. They are behind the elite that controls the world, with evil intentions, with enough capacity to destroy the lives of millions, no, BILLIONS of people. Worse than the holocaust, worse than communist revolutions, worse than any natural disaster that has wiped out entire cities, entire societies, and humanity itself! They control a very large part of the internet - nobody can escape - you can run but not hide from them. In some future, we will be slaves of the system, thanks to them we will be part of the system, everything is connected, all part of a conspiracy that plans to take control of humanity itself, and even dominate the entire universe. Enter at your own risk, whatever action you do, what happens next will not be part of our responsibility. Instead, better use DuckDuckGo. https://www.google.com/ (This article was not sponsored by DuckDuckGo or any other existing search engine) ------------------------------------------------- >UNTIL NEXT TIME AcidMail would not be possible if it weren't for the cocky people over at NeoZones, one of the worst s0-called "webhomes". To browse more bad ideas by the NeoZones losers, check out their URL over at: https://neozones.neocities.org/ Do you have anything that you want to see in next week's issue of AcidMail? Is it a link, a comment, a short story, or some art? Well whatever it is, E-Mail it to us, and we will probably put it on the next issue (with credit, of course!) If you have any questions, comments, or anything in between, please don't hesitate to E-Mail us!